They said: This case is impossible to settle. I responded: It is only impossible if you don’t try. I am not referring to one specific mediation, but to a commonly identified obstacle to resolution. Parties often say in frustration “this is impossible.” But the important thing to understand is that…
Category: Negotiation
Mediator Insights: Stuck on No
Toddlers love the word “no.” Some grownups do too. I see this in mediations all too often. One side is stuck on “no” and my job is to help them become unstuck. To illustrate, let’s consider Tracey Corderoy’s No! Otto is adorable. Everyone says so – his parents, his grandparents,…
Mediator Insights: The Give and Take of Mediation
Mediation is a give and take. It requires listening and sharing. It requires understanding wants and needs. To illustrate, let’s consider Karen Kaufman Orloff’s “I Wanna Iguana.” In this story, young Alex’s friend Mikey is moving away and cannot take his pet iguana with him. Alex really, really, really wants…
MAYER MEDIATION MINUTE: Closure
Closure. Closure is generally defined as the act of closing or a comforting sense of finality. But what does closure mean in mediation? In mediation, closure is the sense of relief parties feel when they are able to put a dispute behind them. Particularly in emotionally charged, long-running, or very…
MAYER MEDIATION MINUTE: Be Curious
Today, I want to explore the importance of being curious. Curiosity allows us to learn and grow. Curiosity also leads to sharing. Sharing leads to understanding and connection. In mediation, understanding and connection can pave the path to resolution. So, in your next mediation, be curious. Curious about opposing views. …
Mayer Mediation Minute: Believe
As a mediator, I start every mediation believing that we will find a path to resolution. You should believe it too. Why is it important for the parties to believe? Because if you believe it is possible then it will be. Belief shapes our thoughts and influences our actions. Our…
Mediator Insights: Just Ask
Mediation is a multilayered process including, among other things, sharing, learning, probing, and exploring. Sometimes, one or both parties get stuck. And sometimes the stuck party will say “they will never accept what I can offer.” Instead of trying, the stuck party has prejudged how the other side will respond. …
Mediator Insights: The Power of Flexible Thinking
In any dispute, there is often a wide disparity between what each side wants and what either side may realistically get. One of the critical components in bridging the resolution divide is flexible thinking. Flexible thinking means the ability to adapt and adjust as the facts, the law, and the…
Mediator Insights: Don’t Overlook the Obvious
While very often the path to resolution of a dispute is circuitous, sometimes it is obvious and direct. But all too often, those involved in the litigation cannot see it. This is one way that a neutral can help. To illustrate how this arises outside of the dispute resolution context,…
Mediator Insights: Leave Your Expectations at the Door
In the world of dispute resolution and mediation, everyone has expectations. Sometimes those expectations are basic or practical. For example, parties expect to know when and where to be for the mediation. Parties expect the mediator to address the process and ground rules for the mediation. They expect to have…