Ten years ago, I shifted my practice from serving as an advocate (an attorney representing parties) to primarily serving as a neutral (an arbitrator or mediator). Those 10 years went by in the blink of an eye. Now that I have hit double digits as a neutral, I am pausing…
Tag: mediator’s toolbox
MAYER MEDIATION MINUTE: The ABC’s of Mediation
As a mediator, I often say that I rely heavily on the ABC’s of mediation. What are the ABC’s of mediation? A: I am an analyst. I analyze the facts and the law. I analyze options, outcomes, and the cues that I receive from the parties. B: I am a…
Mediator Insights: It’s Impossible
They said: This case is impossible to settle. I responded: It is only impossible if you don’t try. I am not referring to one specific mediation, but to a commonly identified obstacle to resolution. Parties often say in frustration “this is impossible.” But the important thing to understand is that…
Mediator Insights: When They Need to Roar
Sometimes we all just need to roar. By roar, I mean let out our anger. Anger is an emotional iceberg. What we see is the angry outburst, but underneath we find the hidden causes like fear, rejection, regret, grief, and more. In my experience as a mediator, parties often bring…
Mediator Insights: The Grief in the Room
Do you know who participates in mediation? People. People participate in mediation. Whether for themselves or a business, they are still people. And many people who participate in mediation are grieving. Their grief may or may not be related to the underlying dispute. Regardless, their grief is often palpable and…
Mediator Insights: Stuck on No
Toddlers love the word “no.” Some grownups do too. I see this in mediations all too often. One side is stuck on “no” and my job is to help them become unstuck. To illustrate, let’s consider Tracey Corderoy’s No! Otto is adorable. Everyone says so – his parents, his grandparents,…
ADR Insights on Business Divorces: Reunited and It Feels So Good (Part 8 of 9)
Reunited, and it feels so good Reunited ’cause we understood There’s one perfect fit And, sugar, this one is it We both are so excited ’cause we’re reunited. (Peaches and Herb’s Reunited) (Written by Dino Fekaris and Freddie Perren) This is the eighth in the “Breaking Up is Hard to…
ADR Insights on Business Divorces: Money, Money, Money (Part 7 of 9)
Money, money, money, must be funny in the rich man’s world. Money, money, money, always sunny in the rich man’s world. (ABBA’s Money, Money, Money) (Written by Benny Goran Bror Andersson and Bjoern K. Ulvaeus) This is the seventh in the “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” nine-part series exploring…
ADR Insights on Business Divorces: You Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’ (Part 6 of 9)
You lost that lovin’ feelin’ Whoa, that lovin’ feelin’ You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’ Now it’s gone … gone … gone…woah. (The Righteous Brothers’ You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling’) (Written by Phil Spector, Barry Mann, and Cynthia Weil) This is the sixth in the “Breaking Up is Hard to Do”…
ADR Insights on Business Divorces: Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Part 5 of 9)
Hit me with your best shot, Why don’t you hit me with your best shot, Hit me with your best shot, Fire away. (Pat Benatar’s Hit Me With Your Best Shot) (Written by Eddie Schwartz) This is the fifth in the “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” nine-part series exploring…