Closure. Closure is generally defined as the act of closing or a comforting sense of finality. But what does closure mean in mediation? In mediation, closure is the sense of relief parties feel when they are able to put a dispute behind them. Particularly in emotionally charged, long-running, or very…
Media, Presentations & Articles
MAYER MEDIATION MINUTE: Be Curious
Today, I want to explore the importance of being curious. Curiosity allows us to learn and grow. Curiosity also leads to sharing. Sharing leads to understanding and connection. In mediation, understanding and connection can pave the path to resolution. So, in your next mediation, be curious. Curious about opposing views. …
Mediator Insights: Help
Never be afraid to ask your mediator for help. We all need a little help sometimes. To illustrate, let’s consider Audrey Wood’s Silly Sally, which is a children’s book written in rhyme. I’d like to share a few excerpts. “Silly Sally went to town, walking backwards, upside down.” “Along the…
Mayer Mediation Minute: Use Your Listening Ears
Have you ever said to your kids “use your listening ears”? Just as it is important that our children use their listening ears at home and at school, so too is it important that we use our listening ears in mediation. As a mediator, I work hard to listen to…
Mayer Mediation Minute: Word Cues
As a mediator, I pay attention to word cues. You should too. As you interact with others, listen for the words they use. Not just what the words mean, but the words that are said. Subconsciously, we all offer cues on how we process information. Someone who processes through logical…
Mayer Mediation Minute: Believe
As a mediator, I start every mediation believing that we will find a path to resolution. You should believe it too. Why is it important for the parties to believe? Because if you believe it is possible then it will be. Belief shapes our thoughts and influences our actions. Our…
Mediator Insights: Just Ask
Mediation is a multilayered process including, among other things, sharing, learning, probing, and exploring. Sometimes, one or both parties get stuck. And sometimes the stuck party will say “they will never accept what I can offer.” Instead of trying, the stuck party has prejudged how the other side will respond. …
Mediator Insights: The Power of Flexible Thinking
In any dispute, there is often a wide disparity between what each side wants and what either side may realistically get. One of the critical components in bridging the resolution divide is flexible thinking. Flexible thinking means the ability to adapt and adjust as the facts, the law, and the…
Mediator Insights: Don’t Overlook the Obvious
While very often the path to resolution of a dispute is circuitous, sometimes it is obvious and direct. But all too often, those involved in the litigation cannot see it. This is one way that a neutral can help. To illustrate how this arises outside of the dispute resolution context,…
Mediator Insights: Leave Your Expectations at the Door
In the world of dispute resolution and mediation, everyone has expectations. Sometimes those expectations are basic or practical. For example, parties expect to know when and where to be for the mediation. Parties expect the mediator to address the process and ground rules for the mediation. They expect to have…