As a mediator, I start every mediation believing that we will find a path to resolution. You should believe it too. Why is it important for the parties to believe? Because if you believe it is possible then it will be. Belief shapes our thoughts and influences our actions. Our…
Tag: tips for mediation
Mediator Insights: Just Ask
Mediation is a multilayered process including, among other things, sharing, learning, probing, and exploring. Sometimes, one or both parties get stuck. And sometimes the stuck party will say “they will never accept what I can offer.” Instead of trying, the stuck party has prejudged how the other side will respond. …
Mediator Insights: The Power of Flexible Thinking
In any dispute, there is often a wide disparity between what each side wants and what either side may realistically get. One of the critical components in bridging the resolution divide is flexible thinking. Flexible thinking means the ability to adapt and adjust as the facts, the law, and the…
Mediator Insights: Don’t Overlook the Obvious
While very often the path to resolution of a dispute is circuitous, sometimes it is obvious and direct. But all too often, those involved in the litigation cannot see it. This is one way that a neutral can help. To illustrate how this arises outside of the dispute resolution context,…
Mediator Insights: Leave Your Expectations at the Door
In the world of dispute resolution and mediation, everyone has expectations. Sometimes those expectations are basic or practical. For example, parties expect to know when and where to be for the mediation. Parties expect the mediator to address the process and ground rules for the mediation. They expect to have…
Mediator Insights: The Power of Presence
Never underestimate the power of being present. This is true in all interactions and particularly true in mediation. In mediation, often the power of presence can unblock the pathway to resolution. To illustrate, let’s consider Cori Doerrfeld’s The Rabbit Listened. Taylor has a box of building blocks. Taylor works hard…
Mayer Mediation Minute: Think
In mediation, it is important to pause and take the time to think. Think before you speak. Think before you react. Think before you respond. Think before you reject. Think before you decide. Use that time to think about your needs, instead of your wants. Use that time to think…
Mayer Mediation Minute: Breathe
Emotions can run high in mediation. When that happens, the best solution is to breathe. Just breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. Taking that moment to calm yourself can help you move forward in the mediation. So, when you feel the emotions building, just breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Take a breath…
Mayer Mediation Minute: Candor
Candor is being open, honest, and frank. Candor is an important ingredient in mediation. Be candid when you have a pre-mediation call with the mediator. Be candid when weighing the strengths and weaknesses of your case. Be candid when you are exploring settlement options during the mediation. Candor is the…
Dispute Resolution Insights: It’s a Small World
Wishing all a Happy and Healthy New Year! It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears. It’s a world of hopes and a world of fears. There’s so much that we share that it’s time we’re aware it’s a small world after all. (from It’s a Small World (After…