Emotions can run high in mediation. When that happens, the best solution is to breathe. Just breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. Taking that moment to calm yourself can help you move forward in the mediation. So, when you feel the emotions building, just breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Take a breath…
Tag: mediator’s toolbox
Dispute Resolution Insights: It’s a Small World
Wishing all a Happy and Healthy New Year! It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears. It’s a world of hopes and a world of fears. There’s so much that we share that it’s time we’re aware it’s a small world after all. (from It’s a Small World (After…
Mediator Insights: Thinking Outside of the (Crayon) Box
Sometimes the solution to a problem is obvious or simple, but not always. Particularly in multifaceted conflict (such as complex litigation, restructuring negotiations, business divorces, and multi-party disputes), the path to resolution often requires thinking outside of the box. To illustrate, let’s consider Drew Daywalt’s “The Day the Crayons Quit.” …
Mediator Insights: How to Breach the Bully Barrier in Mediation
Bullies use aggressive behavior (physical and verbal) to intimidate and coerce others. Bullies show up in all aspects of life, including in mediation and negotiation. In many cases, the bully is the reason the dispute is in mediation. The bully has become the barrier to resolution. It is then the…
Mediator Insights: Bursting Bubbles by Challenging Mediation Truisms (Part 2)
Knowledge is Power. Always be Empathic. Continuing my exploration of the negotiation myths challenged by Dan Oblinger and Allan Tsang in Negotiation Mythbusters, here I explore the validity of the above two truisms in the context of mediation and negotiation. Is Knowledge Really Power? The authors challenge three myths related…
Mediator Insights: Bursting Bubbles by Challenging Mediation Truisms (Part 1)
Trust is Necessary. The Best Negotiated Outcomes are Win-Win. Are these two oft-touted truisms really true? Dan Oblinger and Allan Tsang challenge these and other “myths” in Negotiation Mythbusters. Thought-provoking and insightful, their book forces us to think more deeply about the fundamental underpinnings of negotiation and mediation. Is Trust…
Mediator Insights: Receptivity and Resolution (Part 2)
As noted in my prior article, receptivity is being open to listening and accepting new information, ideas, or suggestions. In the context of mediation, receptivity is often the key to resolution (i.e., settlement). Receptivity is also the core focus of Robert Cialdini’s Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade. …
Mediator Insights: A Glimpse Behind the Curtain
Offering a glimpse behind the mediator’s curtain to enhance parties’ ability to find the yellow brick road paving the path to resolution of disputes in mediation. Drawing on analogies from the Wizard of Oz, this article offers suggestions to advocates in mediation. © 2022 by the American Bar Association. Reproduced…
Mediator Insights: Can You Hear Me? Missed Opportunities in Mediation and Conflict Resolution
Dr. Seuss’ “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” offers a classic example of missed opportunities. Let me draw you a picture. Visualize this: Two Dr. Seuss characters are standing back-to-back in a room. One is named Joe. We do not know the other’s name. Each is holding a…
Is Trust a Necessity in Bankruptcy Negotiation and Mediation?
An oft-touted truism about both negotiation and mediation is that trust is critical to reaching an agreement. But is it? Parties typically come to mediation or engage in negotiation with a trust deficit. Perhaps parties feel wronged, betrayed, or angry. Perhaps there is no prior history between the parties, or…