Toddlers love the word “no.” Some grownups do too. I see this in mediations all too often. One side is stuck on “no” and my job is to help them become unstuck. To illustrate, let’s consider Tracey Corderoy’s No! Otto is adorable. Everyone says so – his parents, his grandparents,…
Tag: Persuasion
Mediator Insights: The Give and Take of Mediation
Mediation is a give and take. It requires listening and sharing. It requires understanding wants and needs. To illustrate, let’s consider Karen Kaufman Orloff’s “I Wanna Iguana.” In this story, young Alex’s friend Mikey is moving away and cannot take his pet iguana with him. Alex really, really, really wants…
Mediator Insights: Help
Never be afraid to ask your mediator for help. We all need a little help sometimes. To illustrate, let’s consider Audrey Wood’s Silly Sally, which is a children’s book written in rhyme. I’d like to share a few excerpts. “Silly Sally went to town, walking backwards, upside down.” “Along the…
Mayer Mediation Minute: Use Your Listening Ears
Have you ever said to your kids “use your listening ears”? Just as it is important that our children use their listening ears at home and at school, so too is it important that we use our listening ears in mediation. As a mediator, I work hard to listen to…
Mayer Mediation Minute: Word Cues
As a mediator, I pay attention to word cues. You should too. As you interact with others, listen for the words they use. Not just what the words mean, but the words that are said. Subconsciously, we all offer cues on how we process information. Someone who processes through logical…
Mayer Mediation Minute: Believe
As a mediator, I start every mediation believing that we will find a path to resolution. You should believe it too. Why is it important for the parties to believe? Because if you believe it is possible then it will be. Belief shapes our thoughts and influences our actions. Our…
Mediator Insights: The Power of Flexible Thinking
In any dispute, there is often a wide disparity between what each side wants and what either side may realistically get. One of the critical components in bridging the resolution divide is flexible thinking. Flexible thinking means the ability to adapt and adjust as the facts, the law, and the…
Mediator Insights: Don’t Overlook the Obvious
While very often the path to resolution of a dispute is circuitous, sometimes it is obvious and direct. But all too often, those involved in the litigation cannot see it. This is one way that a neutral can help. To illustrate how this arises outside of the dispute resolution context,…
Mediator Insights: The Power of Presence
Never underestimate the power of being present. This is true in all interactions and particularly true in mediation. In mediation, often the power of presence can unblock the pathway to resolution. To illustrate, let’s consider Cori Doerrfeld’s The Rabbit Listened. Taylor has a box of building blocks. Taylor works hard…
Mayer Mediation Minute: Candor
Candor is being open, honest, and frank. Candor is an important ingredient in mediation. Be candid when you have a pre-mediation call with the mediator. Be candid when weighing the strengths and weaknesses of your case. Be candid when you are exploring settlement options during the mediation. Candor is the…