Now that I have hit double digits as a neutral, I thought I would share some mediation practice tips for attorneys based on lessons learned over the last 10 years. Be Prepared. I prepare for every mediation, and you should too. You should know the case and also your client. …
Tag: tips for mediation
Mediator Insights: When They Need to Roar
Sometimes we all just need to roar. By roar, I mean let out our anger. Anger is an emotional iceberg. What we see is the angry outburst, but underneath we find the hidden causes like fear, rejection, regret, grief, and more. In my experience as a mediator, parties often bring…
ADR Insights on Business Divorces: You Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’ (Part 6 of 9)
You lost that lovin’ feelin’ Whoa, that lovin’ feelin’ You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’ Now it’s gone … gone … gone…woah. (The Righteous Brothers’ You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling’) (Written by Phil Spector, Barry Mann, and Cynthia Weil) This is the sixth in the “Breaking Up is Hard to Do”…
ADR Insights on Business Divorces: Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Part 5 of 9)
Hit me with your best shot, Why don’t you hit me with your best shot, Hit me with your best shot, Fire away. (Pat Benatar’s Hit Me With Your Best Shot) (Written by Eddie Schwartz) This is the fifth in the “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” nine-part series exploring…
Mediator Insights: The Give and Take of Mediation
Mediation is a give and take. It requires listening and sharing. It requires understanding wants and needs. To illustrate, let’s consider Karen Kaufman Orloff’s “I Wanna Iguana.” In this story, young Alex’s friend Mikey is moving away and cannot take his pet iguana with him. Alex really, really, really wants…
MAYER MEDIATION MINUTE: Closure
Closure. Closure is generally defined as the act of closing or a comforting sense of finality. But what does closure mean in mediation? In mediation, closure is the sense of relief parties feel when they are able to put a dispute behind them. Particularly in emotionally charged, long-running, or very…
MAYER MEDIATION MINUTE: Be Curious
Today, I want to explore the importance of being curious. Curiosity allows us to learn and grow. Curiosity also leads to sharing. Sharing leads to understanding and connection. In mediation, understanding and connection can pave the path to resolution. So, in your next mediation, be curious. Curious about opposing views. …
Mediator Insights: Help
Never be afraid to ask your mediator for help. We all need a little help sometimes. To illustrate, let’s consider Audrey Wood’s Silly Sally, which is a children’s book written in rhyme. I’d like to share a few excerpts. “Silly Sally went to town, walking backwards, upside down.” “Along the…
Mayer Mediation Minute: Use Your Listening Ears
Have you ever said to your kids “use your listening ears”? Just as it is important that our children use their listening ears at home and at school, so too is it important that we use our listening ears in mediation. As a mediator, I work hard to listen to…
Mayer Mediation Minute: Word Cues
As a mediator, I pay attention to word cues. You should too. As you interact with others, listen for the words they use. Not just what the words mean, but the words that are said. Subconsciously, we all offer cues on how we process information. Someone who processes through logical…